party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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