Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
