You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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