I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
