i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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