They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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