my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
