Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
