all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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