Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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