You smell like stripper and shame
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
