They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
