Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
