You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
