I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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