i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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