taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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