So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
