i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
