She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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