i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
