He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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