I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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