Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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