I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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