i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
