I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
