They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
