Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
