she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
