FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
