Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
