I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
