you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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