The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
