I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
