Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm at about main and main street
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
