He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
