I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
