btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
