she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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