MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
