He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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