i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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