I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
