..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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