I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
