If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
