Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
