i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
