Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
